The Ramblings Of a Scattered Mind VI

I have been on summer vacation for about a month now. I hate summer. I hate the heat. I expected to blog much more about more meaningful things than just silly thoughts and what not. But i have not been able to due to laziness and what have you so here we are..I'm going to try but for some reason it's like swimming against the current. I feel i need to change now. I don't really want to but i feel i really should. I feel i need to now find my personality, my character. Know who i am and what i need to do. I never thought i had an identity crisis..but maybe. These past couple of weeks taught me a lot about family. So i think the next post will be about that. Bittersweet family..Also, i feel like i may be losing touch with some of my friends..and i feel i may be okay with it. No one wants to put the effort of maintaining our relationship so maybe it's not worth it. We don't tell each other what's up in our lives or what we're doing anymore..you know the things friends usually do. I don't think we'll ever fall out..but just lose touch. Basically..growing up sucks and either we get used to it or it will only get worse..All the decisions we have to make in our foolish youthful years that will affect the rest of our grown up lives. It's just a lot of pressure to make the right ones for the future even if it means you won't enjoy it now. I guess that's part of growing up..investing in the future while you may not necessarily be totally happy in the present. Or am i doing something wrong here??