Marriage in my Culture I

Marriage is a funny thing in my culture, obvioulsy this is from a women's perspective. I am not in any way undermining the importance of marriage in life, but i just I don't understand why Sudanese people place sooo much importance on marriage, if it doesn't happen it just doesn't..don't waste your life waiting, to the extent that you stop enriching yourself and your life. And don't expect too much to the point that it's unrealistic, know that your significant other is NOT going to be perfect and that's alright. 

Some women also think that until they get married they can't accomplish certain things, well, I know soo many unmarried ladies, doing amazing things & getting paid hugely. I actually tend to believe getting married may tie you down, because usually a man does not want his wife to be more successful than he is, especially in my culture, thats why there is a negative relationship between successful marriages and powerful women. I wonder why. Could that be why some women don't want to accomplish great things, do they feel that if they are too successful it will scare men off? If that's the case, then it's just sad.

I personally want someone who will not be afraid of my success, of my drive, and instead will want me to achieve the things i desire to, in making a difference in my country, to be financially successful or whatever it may be. Someone who will support me, as i would him.

Marriage is also greatly tied to age, as soon as you pass say 23 years your 'options' drop drastically. Younger men want young ladies and so do older men. So, where does that leave those past that age? I know so many 18 and 19 year olds getting married some without perusing higher education and some while studying. I can barely focus on university as it is, let alone having to head home and take care of a man. No, thanks.

To end it off, I want to be independent before i ever get married so i can tell myself, i did it because i wanted to, not because i had to.

The Ramblings Of a Scattered Mind V

 Aaah, finally a post. I was having a spell of writer's block, which i hope just broke. So, a quick update on what's going on, exams in 2 weeks, then a 2 months winter holiday marking the end of the first semester. I have big plans for the vacation i hope they don't fall through like always. Plans regarding a 10 day ticketing course, a job and of course with friends, i haven't seen in ages. Something cool happened lately i attended the Strangers Tour and the highlight of it for me was being able to listen to Boonaa Moahmed's poetry and speech. It was beautiful to say the least. He is so talented yet a very simple person. The other 2 speakers were Canadian Navaid Aziz and American-Iranian Islamic comedian and vlogger Baba Ali. You know these ramblings are slightly different from my other posts because they are not in any order, flow, or even paragraphs. They are just a jumble of things that occur to me. Last year i bought a drum, a djembe drum, not only because i like it's African-ness but also because in our cultural music ladies always sing with drums, aka as dalooka :) i love drumming, cant say i'm amazing at it but i enjoy it and as far as i am concerned that is all that matters. I'm like that with a lot of things, i mean if you have an interest (or in my case way too many to focus too much time on) always pursue it. If something makes you happy do it, you don't always have to be very good at it; and if you are all the better, but you'd probably have to give up other things unless its a natural talent, then you're just lucky. So, back to the point, since i got my Djembe dalooka. i have been somewhat obsessed with our Sudanese music, listening to the likes of Gisma and Ensaf Madani with their somewhat girly lyrics that i just love. It brings people together and to think that this music is part of our culturally rich history makes it that much better. I actually enjoy it way more than modern Sudanese music. In general i'm just starting to listen to Sudanese music more and more. It's so cold in here i think i might just get frost bite, (exaggerate much, why yes, yes i do) Anyway, i would have posted links to some YouTube videos except i'm typing this at my campus LAN and it's inaccessible until 3.00pm so i'll update this post at home. If you're reading this Virtual World and have something to say, just leave a comment. I would also like to thank a Twitter friend who suggested just babbling, babbling, babbling and then edit edit edit when being stuck in a blog post, good advice which i have used. Bye. For now.

Djembe Drum (above) a more Sudanese Drum (below)

Thoughts on Sudan..

 I don't know if i am the only one who finds people always connecting patriotism to loyalty to government. I mean i think i'm extremely patriotic, at the same time i have no loyalty nor support for the Sudanese government. To not fulfill your duties as leaders, and caretakers of the country is one thing but to continuously thrust it in turmoil is another level. I love my country and want only the best for it, i want it to move forward in every way possible and i think the 7akooma is only pulling us back.

I don't believe in war, unless you are defending yourself from direct attacks. And so far Sudan has never been attacked that there need be talk of war. Also, i loved Gérard Prunier's article (read it here) but he is an idiot for suggesting giving war a chance where have you been for the past trillion years? For being an 'academic and historian specializing in the Horn of Africa and East Africa' with a PhD in African History, you should know that Sudan has already given war a chance and it failed miserably. Besides anyone knows that war is never restricted to the battlefield, that civilians die, homes, schools, hospitals are destroyed, the economy falls and has a dominoes effect on everything. We need to give Peace a chance, both within Sudan and with our new neighbour South Sudan. We need to allow the youth to share ideas, and the women to be heard and to break barriers of fear, and primitive racist ideologies.

When will we start picking ourselves up, realising that it's about time for change. Can greed really drive people to behave like this for so many years, in our case about 23 years. Can power corrupt to the extent that leaders think it's okay to kill and torture anyone who apposes their having this power? Is it really that hard to give it up. I don't know.